I’ll be fine

I saw him today, arms happily wrapped around her
Grinning from ear to ear
They seem to always have something to talk about
They didn’t even notice when I passed.
But don’t worry I’ll be fine

She updated her bbm status today
‘Happy birthday to a very special person’
the one that gets me, you’re my shining light’
Has she forgotten I’m a contact on that BBM?
Does she remember we broke up 66 days ago?
How can she so easily move on.
I am a man and a man never breaks down
I know i’ll be fine.

My husband would have been forty years old today.
I laugh as I remember something he said a while back.
He said when he clocks 40, he will get a tattoo of my face carved on his chest
where his heart is because that’s where I’ll always be
No fortieth celebration, no tattoo, no heart that beats.
I’ll just drown myself in liquor till I sleep, maybe I’ll dream of him.
Go to bed with the one you love today, hold them close
Don’t worry about me I’ll be fine

I’ll smile through the pain
The disappointment and heartbreak
I am a master of my emotions
I’ll dictate what I feel
And when to feel it.

I’ll hug both of them when next we see so they will know I’m happy for them.

I’d tell her congrats, send my warm regards to your ‘lighter’
So she will know i wish her well

I’ll call the Pastor and have thanksgiving in church on sunday
For keeping the family since the demise of my husband

No one needs to know I drink myself to sleep every night
No one needs to know I cry every night when memories fall like rain

No one needs to know when I see them together, I’m 100 percent jealous
No one needs to know about the head aches,
The fiery overwhelming loneliness
That cuddles me so tight that it almost chokes

No one needs to know I long for things to be different.
But don’t worry, I don’t know when or how
But I know I’LL BE FINE.

11 comments
  1. :'(:'(:'(:'(…..will be fine

    1. 😥😥😥

  2. *tear* I’d be fine. I love 😍

    1. Lool thanks

  3. This is great Rachel.
    “I’ll be fine”

    1. Thanks

  4. Now I have closure & know that i’ll be fine 🙂

  5. We gonna be aii!

  6. Beautiful one, Rachel. But sad too… 🙁

    1. I know. Life is sometimes sad. 🙁

  7. No one needs to know I long for things to be different. Nice work Rachy. :*

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